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Top Ten Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Woodstock
|From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "Amplifiers" are just enormous dixie cups.8. Every song contains a plug for Green Giant frozen vegetables.7. You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as Bob Dylan.6. One word: polkas.5. Guy sitting next to you brought a glove and has caught three foul balls.4. "Santana" turns out to be a jolly bearded guy with a sackful of presents.3. They're playing "May we turn the hose on you, please?" [All night Dave sprayed the crowd which gathers outside for each night's show with a hose.]2. You spot Rush Limbaugh stage-diving.1. The crowd is chanting, "Tito! Tito! Tito!"