Stupid Office Tricks 2004
Alright, Stupid Office Tricks 2004. Let us know your scores. NO CHEATING. CONTACT US with detailed scoring. We will post the highest scores and comments on the main page in a few weeks. Good Luck!




One-Point Gags

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Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!"

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.



Three-Point Gags

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Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



Five-Point Gags

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After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "The report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two."

At lunch time get down on your knees and announce "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Ya wanna trade?"

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am "See how I look in tights."

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now"

Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.

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