Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger ...
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and

heavier. - Anonymous



Never accept a drink from a urologist. - Erma Bombeck



Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your

mother to hear at your trial. - Sydney Biddle Barrows, the

"Mayflower Madam"



Never say "Oops" in the operating room. - Dr. Leo Troy



Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large"

or "size" with "rear end". Never. Avoid the area altogether.

Trust me. -Tim Allen



Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless

applying for the job of umpire. - Dan Zevin



Never kick a fresh cow dropping on a hot day. - Harry S. Truman



Never thrust your sickle into another's corn. - Publius Syrus



Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the

local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap. -

Anonymous member of a chain gang



Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It

annoys them very much. - G.K.Chesterton



Never use while sleeping. - Instruction on Conair hair dryer



Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's

no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said,

"Look, it's always gonna be me!" - Rita Rudner



Never murder a man when he's busy committing suicide. - Woodrow

Wilson



Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is

in the room. - Winston Churchill



Never stand between a dog and the hydrant. - John Peers



Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. -

Geraldo Rivera



Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the

facts. - Ruth Gordon



Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel. -

American adage about antagonizing newspaper editors.




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