JOHN GLENN JOKES
REASONS NO ONE WANTS TO GO INTO SPACE WITH JOHN GLENN AGAIN

10. The horror of seeing the effects of G-Forces on wrinkles.

9. Kept using the Hubble to find his glasses.

8. Every time he sneezed, his teeth flew out.

7. Forgot where he was each morning, kept grabbing for Scott while calling him "Annie".

6. Constantly complaining about being "Stiff all over" while eyeing Chiaki.

5. Couldn't get him to stop doing the "Viagra" experiment.

4. When warned, "There's a Meteor Shower ahead", he thought they said, "Shower cause he'd peed the bed".

3. Couldn't seem to ever attach his urinal bag properly.

2. There's a real good reason why we call old men "Old Farts".

1. The Prunetang worked, but the Depends didn't.




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JOHN GLENN'S RETURN TO SPACE LIST

* Will Glenn leave the left turn signal on all the way to the moon?

* Can the main rocket booster be operated with a Clapper?

* Will AARP now offer 10% discounts to senior citizens on space flights?

* Will the test for the non-gravity Depends be successful?

* Will Glenn wander away from the spacecraft and forget where he is?

* Will the main cabin have night lights so he can find the bathroom?

* Will he hit the accelerator instead of the brakes upon re-entry?

* Will he find other applications for Dentu-Creme in outer space?

* Will Glenn beam down live commercials for Geritol?

* Will other politicians follow his lead and launch themselves into space?

* Will a shuffle board be installed in the cargo bay?

* Will one monitor be specifically designated for Matlock?

* Will little bowls of candy scattered randomly about the ship?

* Will the top speed of shuttle beset at 25 miles per hour?

* Will a new bifocal windshield be installed?

* Will space pants now go up to armpits?

* Will the left blinker be left on for entire mission?



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