Old Rabbi Wolfson had begged his board of directors to buy a new chandelier for the synagogue. Pleading for more than an hour, he sat down, sullen and hopeless in his ambition. Then the past president of the board stood up. "What're we wasting time talkin'?" he said rhetorically. "Foist of all, a chandelier, ... we ain't got nobody who could even spell it. Second, we ain't got nobody who could even play it. And third, what we need in the shul is more light!"