A Russian Visits Denny's Restaurant
More American Observations
by Yakov Smirnoff

Because there are so many restaurants in the Unites States,
you'll have to
be selective. The very first American restaurant I visited
was Denny's.
We didn't have Denny's in Russia--thank God! What a strange
place. When
I want in to be seated, the hostess asked me, "How many in
your party?" I
said, "Two million.". She gave me a corner booth.

You may start to wonder about some of the people who work
there. They
all seem to look the same. I was curious to know if, to
hire someone
there, they require a three pimple minimum. The hardest
thing to get
used to is the service they give. I ordered a hamburger in
one place
and the waiter asked me if I wanted him to "hold my pickle".
I said,
"No, thanks, not while I'm eating." Then he asked if he
could "toast my
buns." When he offered me some "secret sauce", I decided to
take my
meal "to go". When he said he was going to put it in a
doggie bag, I
just stuffed the food in my pocket and left.

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