* When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.
* Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
* The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
* Always look both ways when running a red light.
* Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
* Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
* Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights. |
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