* In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for a "cigarette break."
* Your birthday is a state holiday in North Carolina.
* Your title for the Surgeon General: "Captain Bringdown."
* Cracking your knuckles leaves you winded.
* Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap.
* In your neighborhood, they give directions by saying, "Go down to the big pile of cigarette butts..."
* You get mattress fires more often than haircuts.
* You smoke during sex.
* You refer to nonsmokers as "pink-lunged sissy boys."
* You explain to the nurse that you didn't realize you were in a "nonsmoking" iron lung. |
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