Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
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A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
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What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n
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You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
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Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n
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Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
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An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
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A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
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The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v
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To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
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What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
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Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n
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Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
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You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breathe...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n
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On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n.
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Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
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The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
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Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n
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A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. |
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