* Materials needed for Torts 101 include a baking sheet and apron.
* Morely Safer and his camera crew are on campus more often than you are.
* If you last the entire eight weeks, Sally Struthers personally signs your diploma.
* Admission test, found on back of a matchbook, requires you to draw Marcia Clark's briefs.
* Faculty recruited from the exercise yard.
* The Dean once failed to get James Earl Jones acquitted on a charge that he "talks like a sissy."
* Professors always accept 5th Amendment as an excuse for not turning in homework.
* Every question answered with, "You can't handle the truth!"
* Two words: Dean Wapner
* Three hours a day of chasing a little metal ambulance around a dog track.
* In mock trials, the judge always sentences you to a spanking.
* Today's lecture: "Fight for Your Right to Party," by visiting professor Adam "The King AdRock" Horovitz.
* Your roommate is on a "John Gotti Scholarship."
* Can't see the blackboard over Axl Rose's hair.
* The white wigs and black robes may be a tradition, but there's no explaining the lipstick, garter belts, and high heels. |
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