The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. --William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his friends. --Ernest Hemingway
Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. --Anonymous
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. --Ambrose Bierce
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. --Anonymous
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. --Anonymous
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --Oscar Wilde
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. --Tom Waits
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven... --Brian O'Rourke
He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. --Deep Thought, Jack Handy
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. --Homer Simpson
I drink to make other people interesting. --George Jean Nathan
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