"This should be taken care of right away." - I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.
"Well, what have we here...?" - I have no idea and I'm hoping you'll give me a clue.
"Let me check your medical history." - I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." - 1 I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this a waste of time. 2 I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"We have some good news and some bad news." - The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops." - Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for some tests." - I have a forty percent interest in the lab.
"I'd like to have my associate look at you." - He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
"I'd like to prescribe a new drug." - I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.
"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." - I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
"That's quite a nasty looking wound." - I think I'm going to throw up.
"This may smart a little." - Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" - I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?
"This should fix you up." - 1 The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. 2 The drug salesman said it would kill all symptoms.
"Everything seems to be normal." - Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.
"I'd like to run some more tests." - I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one.
"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?" - You're crazier than an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me...
"There is a lot of that going around." - My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment." - I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next week.
"We'll see." - I have to check my malpractice insurance first.
"I really can't recommend seeing a chiropractor." - I hate those guys mooching in on our fees.
"How are we today?" - I feel great. You, on the other hand, look like hell.
"Why don't you slip out of your things." - 1 I don’t enjoy this any more than you do, but I've got to warm my fingers up somehow. 2 I haven't had a good laugh all day.
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