THE TOUGHEST DECISION: SHOULD MY LOVED ONE BE PLACED IN AN ASSISTED
COMPUTING FACILITY?
For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful decision they
will face. To accept that a loved one - a parent, a spouse, perhaps a
sibling - is technologically impaired and should no longer be allowed to
live independently or come near a computer or electronic device without
direct supervision. The time has come to place that loved one into the care
of an Assisted Computing Facility. But you have questions. We at Silicon
Pines can help.
WHAT EXACTLY IS AN "ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY"?
Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm," "Technical
Invalid Care Centers," or "Homes for the Technically Challenged," Assisted
Computing Facilities (ACFs) are modeled on assisted living facilities, and
provide a safe, structured residential environment for those unable to
handle even the most common, everyday multi-tasks. Most fully accredited
ACFs, like Silicon Pines, are an oasis of hope and encouragement that allow
residents to lead productive, technologically relevant lives without the
fear and anxiety associated with actually having to understand or execute
the technologies themselves.
WHO SHOULD BE IN AN ACF?
Sadly, technology is advancing at such a dramatic rate that many millions of
all ages will never truly be able to understand it, which will put an undue
burden on those friends and family members who must explain it to them. But
unless the loved one is suffering from a truly debilitating affliction, such
as Reinstallzheimers, the decision to commit is entirely personal. You must
ask yourself:
"How frustrated am I that my parent/sibling/spouse is unable to open an
e-mail attachment?"
"How much of my time should be taken up explaining how RAM is different from
hard drive memory?"
"How many times can I bear to hear my dad say, 'Hey, can I replace the
motherboard with a fatherboard? Ha ha ha!'"
To make things easier, we have prepared a list of Warning Signs, which we
encourage you to return to often, or, if you can't figure out how to
bookmark it, print out. Also, please take a moment to read "I'm Glad I'm in
Here! - A Resident's Story."
MUST IT BE FAMILY, OR CAN I PLACE ANYONE IN AN ACF?
Several corporations have sought permission to have certain employees, or at
times entire sales departments, committed to ACFs. At present, however,
only direct family or self-internment can commit individuals. The reason is
simple: there are not nearly enough ACFs in the world to accommodate all the
technologically challenged. For example, there are currently only 860,000
beds available in ACFs, but there are 29 million AOL users.
HOW MUCH WILL IT COST?
ACF rents range from free up to $12,500 per month. The disparity is
currently a point of contention in the ACF industry. Many residents are
covered through government programs such as Compucaid or Compucare, but
reimbursement rates are low and only cover a portion of the fees.
Exacerbating the situation are the HMOs (Help Desk Maintenance
Organizations), which often deny coverage, forcing residents to pay out of
pocket or turn to expensive private techcare insurers such as
BlueCache/BlueScreen. Offsetting the costs are technology companies
themselves, many of which subsidize ACFs. Firms such as Microsoft, Dell,
Qualcomm, and America Online will pay up to 100 percent of a resident's
monthly bill, but there is a catch. ISPs, for instance, require residents
to sign service contracts lasting a year or more. Microsoft, meanwhile,
prohibits the installation of any competitive software, while Priceline
requires that residents buy shares of its stock, which seems onerous at
first glance but saves residents on lavatory tissue.
HOW OLD MUST I BE TO HAVE SOMEONE COMMITTED?
Until very recently, you had to be 18 or older to legally commit a family
member. However, the now famous British court case Frazier vs. Frazier and
Frazier has cleared the way for minors to commit their parents. In that
case, 15-year-old Bradley Frazier of Leicester had his 37-year-old parents
committed to an ACF in Bournemouth after a judge ruled Ian and Janet Frazier
were a danger to themselves and the community." According to court
records, Bradley told his parents about the I Love You virus and warned them
not to click attachments, then the next day his parents received an I Love
You e-mail and clicked on the attachment because, they explained, "it came
from someone we know."
WHAT SHOULD I LOOK FOR IN AN ACF?
First, make sure it's a genuine Assisted Computing Facility and not an
Assisted Living Facility. To tell the difference, observe the residents. If
they look rather old and tend to openly discuss bowel movements, this is
probably "assisted living." On the other hand, if they vary in age and say
things like, "I'm supposed to figure that out? I'm not Bill goddamned Gates
you know!," this is probably "assisted computing." Also, at a well-run ACF,
residents should lead full, independent lives and should be allowed the use
of many technology devices, including telephones, electric toothbrushes, and
alarm clocks. However, only a facility's Licensed Techcare Professionals
(LTPs) should perform computational or technological tasks such as
installing programs or saving e-mail attachments. And LTPs should NEVER
answer residents' questions because studies have shown that answering user
questions inevitably makes things worse. Instead, residents should simply
have things done for them, relieving them of the pressure to "learn" or
"improve."
CAN A RESIDENT EVER GET OUT?
No.
OK, THIS SOUNDS PROMISING. HOW CAN I LEARN MORE?
For your enlightenment, we offer extensive information on Silicon Pines and
the ACF lifestyle, which can be found by clicking one of the links in the
navigation bars found at both the top and bottom of this page. But whatever
you decide, keep in mind that due to demand, ACFs now have long waiting
lists. WebTV & AOL users alone will take years to absorb. We look forward
to your response. Thank you. |
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